We’re singing some funky American earth hymnals in choir. It’s like taking boring old Jesus songs, booting Jesus the fuck out, and then adding trees and swans instead. Music is much better when it has trees than Jesus. Sorry Jesus, nothing personal, but you’re a bit of a tired instrument, y’know? I’d say it’s not you, but…it is.
So we were singing, yeah? And as a bass 1, I can only go so high. There’s this low e that I never can seem to hit unless I’m not actually focusing on the notes at hand, and don’t feel pressure to actually hit any particular note. That may seem like a particularly stupid way to sing, but it does seem to help me relax when singing.
But last night, we were singing a song where we (the basses) have to jump from a low G to an insanely high D, and swing up to an E before zooming back down to the C and then crescendoing towards the finale. And lo and behold, because the conductor was being silly and not putting any pressure on us to sing the song in a staccato-like manner (as the song calls for) the impossible E and I collided in a friendly manner.
And Jesus had nothing to do with it. Which isn’t really the moral of the story. If you’re wondering what that would be, it’s this: always have a silly conductor – it’ll make everything much more magical.